


Keep You Next To Me

by goddess_julie



Series: But I Know Yes I Know (We'll Be Alright) [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, Genderswap, girl!Niall, girl!Zayn, girl!direction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-12
Updated: 2014-11-12
Packaged: 2018-02-25 01:50:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2604179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goddess_julie/pseuds/goddess_julie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Aww,” Niall giggles as she gives Zayn’s arse a swift smack.  “Look at you, getting all mushy on me.  Watch out Zee, might make me think you’ve changed your mind about having a baby.”</p>
<p>Her feet can’t move.  Zayn is frozen to the spot and she knows that if she looked into a mirror right then her face would be pale, eyes wide and jaw slack.  Her hands are shaking and her voice lost in her throat.  She watches as Niall pauses when she realizes Zayn isn’t beside her.</p>
<p>or  Zayn has changed her mind about starting a family with Niall and she just needs to tell Niall this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Keep You Next To Me

**Author's Note:**

> I was thinking this morning while at work what I wanted to write for today and then a vivid girl!ziall picture flashed in my mind. Which made me think of them having a baby together and then this whole little series of fics popped into my head. I'm not sure how many fics in total I'll be writing, but I've got an idea for at least three or four more.
> 
> Any/all feedback is appreciated. Hope you like!

It takes a glance at her watch to tell Zayn she’s early. Niall had texted her earlier that day to say she was taking her lunch at half four. If Zayn wanted, which she did, she should come by so they could get something to eat. That would be the perfect time to do so. Zayn finished everything she had in her inbox by three, focused on being done in time for her to cross town so she could see her girlfriend. Her girlfriend who she hadn’t seen for more than a half hour in the past 96 hours due to Niall’s double shifts and Zayn’s gallery presentation Friday night. It was only Wednesday, and while Zayn knew she still had a lot of preparation to do before Friday, she could sneak out a few hours early today and leave Perrie in charge for a bit. Perrie knew to call Zayn if there was anything that she couldn’t handle, but it wasn’t their first presentation and they were both pretty much old hands at it by now.

Zayn tosses her cigarette before heading into the hospital. She knows to sanitize her hands before heading up to the eighth floor where she will find Niall in the pediatric ward. All guests are required to sign in at the nurse’s station and as Zayn prints her name and time she’s arrived, she says hello to the girls on the desk. “Hi Zee,” Lara, Niall’s most often shift mate, grins and waves her hand in the direction of the hall ahead of them. “Nialler’s in N822. She should be almost done but if you want to let her know you’re here you can pop your head in.”

As often as she’s visited Niall in the two and a half years they’ve been dating, pretty much all of the nurses in 8N know her. When they all get together for drinks or dinner, have parties or whatever, Zayn is almost always her plus one, so she’s as much of the family as Niall’s co-workers’ husbands and boyfriends are. 

“Thanks Lara.” Zayn winks as she heads down the hall and sees the door to N822 ajar. She sees a young boy, probably about five, lying in a bed that is way too big for him wrapped in a super hero comforter. He has his mum on one side, holding his hand while Niall is standing on the other, talking to him softly. Her long blonde hair is pulled back into her usual pony tail and she wore her thick rimmed glasses, cheeks pink and mouth curled into a giant grin.

It takes Zayn apart for a moment, seeing Niall in her hot pink scrubs, the colour that her ward had chosen to all wear, the gentle way with which she’s speaking to this boy and the genuine adoration she has on her face. Zayn’s stomach flutters and she watches as Niall distracts the boy by asking what he wants to watch when she’s done taking his blood. He starts to describe a movie that his mum and daddy brought for him to watch and barely even realizes that Niall has taken two vials of blood and slipped them into her pocket. Just as he looks up at her, Niall is putting a super hero plaster to cover the cotton ball at the injection site and she leans down to kiss it before she ruffles his hair affectionately.

“You’re the bravest boy I know Peter Parker,” Niall’s Irish accent is thick, her giggle enough to make the little boy blush.

“I’m not Peter Parker,” he says as he grins. “I’m Matthew Parker. Peter Parker is Spiderman.”

“Are you sure you’re not a superhero? “ 

He shakes his head and laughs as Niall leans down to press a kiss to his arm. She promises that she’ll see him later and tells his mum that the results will be back in a few hours , that the doctor will be by to let her know how it went. It’s as she exits the room that she sees Zayn watching from the doorjamb and her grin widens.

This is a smile just for Zayn. It has the power to constrict her chest, make her pulse race and her mouth to curl up into a grin of her own. 

“Hey babe,” Niall says as she leans in to kiss Zayn’s mouth affectionately. “Been here long? I thought I had more time.”

Zayn shakes her head and tries to swallow the lump in her throat. Her voice is scratchy when she speaks. “Got here early.”

The tone of her voice has Niall pausing for a moment. She pulls Zayn close and wraps her arms around her girlfriend’s waist. “Everything okay babe?” She kisses Zayn’s temple affectionately. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, love.” Zayn forces herself to inhale deeply before letting it out slowly. “You just …seeing you in there. Watching you with him just made me…” She waves her hands around her face as if motioning that she’s overwhelmed.

“Aww,” Niall giggles as she gives Zayn’s arse a swift smack. “Look at you, getting all mushy on me. Watch out Zee, might make me think you’ve changed your mind about having a baby.”

Her feet can’t move. Zayn is frozen to the spot and she knows that if she looked into a mirror right then her face would be pale, eyes wide and jaw slack. Her hands are shaking and her voice lost in her throat. She watches as Niall pauses when she realizes Zayn isn’t beside her.

“Zayn?” Niall’s eyebrows furrow and she frowns. “Babe? You okay? You’re worrying me.” She’s at Zayn’s side in a few lengthy strides. She picks up Zayn’s hand and brings it up to her mouth, kissing the digits.

“What…” Zayn’s voice is soft, barely audible. “What if I have?”

“Have what?”

It’s clear that Niall is lost, that she’s not following Zayn’s curious behaviour and what she’s trying to say. “What if I’m ready? What if I’ve changed my mind?”

And she knows it’s been her this whole time holding them back. Niall let her know when they’d decided that this was it for them; they were each other’s forever that one day she wanted to have children. Zayn always imagined having children, at least a few, but always pictured it being in the distant future. On their second anniversary, seven months earlier, Niall had proposed the idea of them starting a family. How she wanted nothing more to be a mum, that she wanted Zayn to be a mum and she wanted them to raise their child together. Zayn knew it had hurt the blonde, but had admitted she still didn’t think she was ready. She’d just gotten her Art Gallery up and off the ground where they were touted as one of London’s top independent Galleries. She didn’t want to rush into anything and thought that they needed more time together before they made that big of a commitment. 

At the time Niall had understood, she respected Zayn’s opinion on it, but Zayn knew deep down that Niall had been disappointed by it. Once Zayn had explained that it wasn’t an issue of not wanting children with Niall, but just in general right now, the tension had lifted between them and they hadn’t brought up the subject again. But it was there between them always. Niall wanting a baby and Zayn not.

Except for the past few months it was all Zayn had been able to think about. Every time she saw Niall with her nephew Theo she saw how much the blonde radiated pure happiness. Whenever she talked about the children in her ward, Zayn could tell just how much she loved them all, how she cared for every single one of them. She had seriously begun to rethink her position on waiting a few more years. And seeing Niall that day with the boy in that room, she realized that she was ready. They were ready and it was more of a fear that she wouldn’t be able to be what their child needed her to be.

Niall’s face is caught in between a smile and a frown. If Zayn is honest, she looks like she’s about to either faint or vomit. Plus she’s not sure she’s seen Niall breathe in the past forty seconds. She reaches out and rests her hand gingerly on Niall’s arm. 

“Say something,” Zayn breathes. “Please?”

“I... Whoa.” Niall’s face finally relaxes and she takes a deep breath. “Uh. Can we maybe talk about this? Not here?”

It’s not the reaction that Zayn is expecting, but she also knows that she’s sprung this on Niall without any warning. In the middle of a twelve hour shift after three doubles. She hides her exhaustion well, always cheery and smiling, but Zayn can tell by the way her hand trembles and she still looks a little spooked that she’s shocked her. The least she can do is swallow her own nerves and follow Niall’s lead.

The desk is overstaffed for the next hour between shifts so the supervising nurse on duty gives Niall a full hour. Zayn knows the woman can see how distracted Niall is and they share a look as Niall is grabbing her sweater that Zayn understands implicitly. 

“Fix it.” Whatever Zayn did, she’s to fix it before she brings her back. Zayn offers her a smile and a silent promise that she will. 

The wait for the elevator is long, as most people are arriving to visit loved ones after work. Zayn’s fingers are tangled with Niall’s and they’re waiting in silence. It’s not uncomfortable, but not not. It’s awkward if nothing else and Zayn is surprised when they step into an empty elevator and Niall pushes her against the back wall.

“Not mad. Just surprised. I fucking love you.” Niall kisses Zayn rough and fast before she pulls away as the elevator stops two floors down. They pull apart and Zayn smirks at how Niall is bouncing in her trainers. Her ponytail is swishing side to side and she grins at the doctors who have stepped in. She grins at everyone who steps in until they finally reach the ground floor and everyone exits the elevator.

Zayn knows Niall has more time than she’s used to for her break, but still doesn’t want to venture too far from the hospital. Instead, she pulls her into a nearby café that she knows Niall loves and tells her to order. They’re at a table waiting for much more food than Zayn knows she’ll be able to eat, but Niall has always been able to maintain a healthy appetite, no matter what the situation or stressor. 

“You know I love you, right?” Niall starts, much to Zayn’s surprise. She looks over at Niall, blue eyes open wide and lip caught between her teeth. Zayn knows she’s giving her an out. That if she’d said it in the heat of the moment, this is her chance to wipe it clean.  
If she wants, she can just laugh it off and say she was kidding. Or that it was something that slipped out, that she still wasn’t ready and hadn’t meant that she wanted to have a child. That she wanted Niall to have a child with her. Zayn knows she can do that, just brush it off but the longer she rolls it around in her head, the more she thinks about it, she realizes she doesn’t want to do that. She now has the image of Niall with a child, their child, in her mind and it is all she can think about. It is what she wants more than anything, and she knows that Niall deserves to know this.

“I do know, babe. And I love you. I’m serious. I think I’m ready.” Zayn waits and holds her breath. She sees Niall smile at her patiently.

“You think?”

“I am,” Zayn insists. “Fuck, I want to have a baby. I want you to have a baby. I want us to talk about how we want to start a family and what we want to do. I want to do everything and I don’t want to wait. I thought I should, that I needed to wait until I know I can handle it, but I realized today that I can handle it because I’ll have you.”

Niall’s eyes are watering and her lip is trembling. She’s covered Zayn’s hands with her own which are buried in the sleeves of her sweater and she holds them tight. A plate of chips and gravy appear with a hamburger and a salad. A diet coke and ginger ale follow shortly and for the first time since Zayn’s known Niall, she ignores the food entirely.

“Seriously?” Niall asks, barely flinching when Zayn extracts one hand to wipe at Niall’s tears. “You want to do this?”

“I’ve been thinking about it for a few months.” Zayn leans forward to press her mouth against Niall’s. They share a deep, emotional kiss before they pull away and Niall coughs a laugh between them. 

“The only news I had today,” Niall starts as she tosses a chip into her mouth. “Is that I got someone to switch my shift for Friday so I can be at the Gallery for the show. Of course you had to show me up, didn’tcha. Oh I can make your show. Oh, I want to have your baby. You win.”

They’re both crying through their laughter. Niall has hooked her running shoe around Zayn’s boot and they’re holding hands with the ones not currently reaching for food.

Zayn feels lighter than she has in recent memory. Her life has been truly spectacular the past few years. She’d found Niall and fell in love. They moved in together and her Gallery started taking off. This was something she hadn’t even anticipated, but now that she thinks about it, realizes it is what will make her life even more perfect. She stops Niall in the middle of a story about a girl in her ward that will be finally going home after a year of being in the hospital. She presses their mouths together in a kiss that starts off chaste and soft and deepens as Niall opens her mouth to Zayn’s tongue.

“I love you,” Zayn says fiercely. “I love you so much and I love how you waited for me to be ready.”

“I can’t do it without you Zee,” Niall’s admission is through a blush on her cheeks and downcast eyes. She looks up to meet Zayn’s eyes and she shrugs. “I wouldn’t want to.”

“Me either, jaan.” 

They’re walking back to the hospital, hand in hand, enjoying the gorgeous weather. Niall is done at 10 and Zayn promises that she’ll wait up for her to come home. They both agree that they need a bit of time to really wrap their heads around the fact that they’re going to start trying for a baby and how exactly they want to do that, so they commit themselves tonight to sit down and go over their schedules for the next few weeks. They’ll pick a date that they’re both free the day and night and sit down and go over everything. 

Zayn will admit she doesn’t want to wait. Now that she’s made up her mind, she wants them to start already, but she knows that it’s not wise. They need to think logically about it all. They need to be on the same page as each other for everything and time to think about it and talk it over is what will serve them best. They’ve also agreed to keep it between them for the time being. As great as the boys are, and as much as they both know they’ll want to help, it’s something they need to do on their own before involving them.

Zayn can’t help but wonder how long that’s going to last. With a laugh, she figures she’ll have spilled the beans to Liam by the weekend and Niall probably will be texting Harry sometime that night. They’ve never been good at keeping anything to themselves. And Louis can manage to get anything out of any of them, so Zayn knows deep down it’s a futile suggestion but they vow to at least try.

They’re back at the desk at 8N with minutes to spare of the hour Niall was given. As Niall is putting her purse and sweater away, her supervisor approaches Zayn smiling. 

“Everything okay?” 

Zayn nods as her mouth curls into a manic grin. She’s about to speak when Niall comes bounding over. “I’ll walk to you to the elevator, Babe. Just got a page saying I have a patient in Emerg Admit that is coming up and I have to take the service elevator down.”

With a nod and a good night to Niall’s supervisor, she waits as the woman gives her girlfriend a few instructions about the case. Once Niall has everything she needs they head over to the elevators once again. 

“See you tonight Zee,” Niall whispers against Zayn’s throat. They’re standing chest to chest, Zayn’s arms around Niall’s tiny waist.

“Call me when you’re on your way, okay?”

Niall nods and kisses Zayn’s nose. “Kay.”

“I love you.” 

The elevator opens and Niall pushes Zayn in gently. As the doors are closing she grins. “Love you too. MUM!” She’s cackling at Zayn’s gasp and skips across the hall to where she’ll take the elevator down to the Emergency Room. When she steps out on the ground floor her cell phone rings with one new picture message. It’s blurry and almost indistinguishable. If she’d not gotten hundreds of them over the past two and a half years she wouldn’t know what it was. But since she has she recognizes Zayn’s puckered lips anywhere. Kissing the camera. Kissing Niall.

She sends her own back before sliding the phone into her pocket. She loves her job, loves the work she does and the people she helps. But tonight she hopes the night goes by fast. She wants to get home to Zayn. To the life they’re going to start building for themselves and their family.


End file.
